Another hallmark of the 21st century

In light of things like global warming and overpopulation and all the other dooms hovering about us, I've noticed certain cultural developments that are gradually spreading far and wide until they become as commonplace as invoking God's good favor after someone sneezes.

Consider, for example, the fist bump.

Now for a long time, I've always thought this was the realm of douchebags or good-intentioned parents awkwardly trying to connect with their kids. If you're disposed to crazy, right-wing determinism, the fist bump is how President Obama greets his Muslim co-conspirators. But even before the terrorist fist jab became a Fox News staple, there was Howie Mandell.

I don't remember the name of the show he hosted*, but it was the one with the briefcases. I only watched it a couple times, but in addition to the show's maddening simplicity, nail-biting drama and frustratingly bad judgment, you had Howie's mysophobia, manifested in his refusal to touch anyone with more than the skin of his knuckles. As I recall, this was a gentle quirk along the lines of Ed Sullivan's gallumphing homeliness (according to the videos we've all watched), rather than the bizarre shadenfreude of Marc Summer's OCD. In other words, we all sort of laughed to ourselves and kept on wondering if brunette on the top left corner would go out with us in real life.

But then came bird flu, and after that swine flu, and all of the sudden, the Howie handshake doesn't seem so funny. And nowadays, after I've poured a double for a college kid and made a joke and he laughs along with me at his own expense, he extends the fist and I respond in kind. And when this happens, I wonder if he's just being a college kid or if he is as wary as I am of the microbe du jour.

Man, this world is pretty scary. When I imagined the future as a child, I had no idea it was going to end up like this. In hindsight, I'm kinda glad we don't have flying cars.

Here's a Metallica video that seems sort of appropriate.

*Now I do. Deal or no Deal.